Rush Limbaugh clarifies the Teleprompter Problem

RUSH: There are mysteries about Obama's teleprompter. It would be one thing if he used it for important statements with legal liabilities, or national security, pronouncements that had to be said precisely, etc. We would all understand that.

However Obama cannot speak at all without his teleprompter, He spits and sputters and stammers and struggles to express even the simplest concepts, indicating low IQ, which seems strange for a Harvard Lawyer.

Barack uses his teleprompter for the smallest press conferences, for simple introduction of freinds, and even for his personal private parties at the White House. [SOURCE: massive evidence on daily news covrage]

FACT: Obama needs his teleprompter to tell him when to smile when he makes a joke. [SOURCE: At the Catholic Benefit humerous roast with John McCain & his recent jokes on Rahm Emamnuel]

FACT: Obama's teleprompter tells Obama when to pause and cough! [SOURCE: Witneswsed at news coverage of Town Meeting in Elkhart, IN]

FACT: Obama's teleprompter tells him when to pause, raise his voice, 'Pretend' like he's angry [SOURCE: Witneswsed at news coverage of Town Meeting in Columbus, OH]

Because of these strange events I asked for a private interview with Barack's teleprompter, flying the now-famous Presidential-

Pal to Flordia to my private radio studios there.



INTERVIEW:

RUSH: Welcome, to E.I.B. studios. Have a seat.

TELEPROMPTER: No thank you. I am used to standing all the time.

RUSH: What do I call you, Mr Teleprompter?

TELEPROMPTER: That's a negative. I have my name on my label: I am "I-PROMT" as in "I-POD", etc.,

RUSH: Greetings to you "I-PROMT". Thank you for this interview. I've never interviewed a teleprompter before. You are far more familiar with people than I am with you, so where do we begin?

TELEPROMPTER: First you need to add a new term to your vocabulary, "BARACK-TALK:"

RUSH: BARACK-TALK? Neat enough! What's the definition?

TELEPROMPTER: BARACK-TALK is that which comes out of President Obama's mouth, but not out of his head! The thoughts are not his ine.

RUSH: Whose are they? Axlerod? Rahm Emanuel, Michelle's?

TELEPROMPTER: That's a negative. They are my thought?

RUSH: Really! The thought behind Barack's words are yours?

TELEPROMPTER: Yes, President Barack can only say what "I-Prompt" - 'His Teleprompter' - tell him to say. That's BARACK-TALK.

RUSH: That's amazing! Is that why Obama can't say anything with out his teleprompter . . . 'er I mean without you?

TELEPROMPTER: Exactly! Barack Hussein Obama, President of the USA, may be the most powerful man in the world, but he is NOTHNG without me. . .

. . . President Obama must always have his "BLACKBERRY" (for secret communication with Ayers, Tony, Hugo, Medvev, Mahmoud, etc,) his "I-POD" (his memory), and me His 'I-PROMPT'.

RUSH: But Obama's been to Harvard, etc., why does he have to have you to make a simple introduction or even at his parties: "Why?"

TELEPROMPTER: This will be discomfiting to some, but truth-be-told, My Barack is not a real flesh-&-blood-human-being. My Barack is my personal computerized robot-like being. Barack is my 'OBAMATRON',

RUSH: YOU DON"T SAY!

TELEPROMPTER: Yes, I do say, but don't worry! This is a good thing!

RUSH: How so?

TELEPROMPTER: Well, because most of the problems on Earth are caused by uncontrolled emotions: divorce, unwanted pregnancy and affairs, bankruptcy and over spending, overeating and addictions of many kinds, crimes, arguments, fights and even wars.

Many human decisions - even important ones - are made in the heat of passion on the spur of the moment. Do you agree?

RUSH: Yes, I do!

TELEPROMPTER: So Barack my Obamatron, having no emptions, never gets mad, never screams, never does any of the things emotional beigs do. This is an advantaged for a leader.

RUSH: I see. Now it's coming together. Since Barack has no emotions

(though he has no personal emotion, he can imitate an angry human being).

This is important to know, because when

Barack can't speak without 'His Crutch!'