However, to be fair, and show that we do think he is an 'OK-Dude', we'll point out their is goodness in his heart - as evidenced by how much of his free time he spends time on volunteering to help under-privileged boys in inner-city Boston: teaching classes on the 'Fine Art of Gay Mannerisms'.


Barney’s reply when Congressional peers first kidded him about his lisp:

> > > Lisp! What lisp! I ain’t got no lisp! You guys just talk too dang plain!



Barney pontificating to gay pages privately about the new Clinton Homosexual policy of “Don‘t ask Don‘t Tell!”. /b>

> > > "Don’t ever ask a guy ’round here if he’s Gay, not even in the men’s room . . . casue - well there different reasons.

> > > For starters, ya’ can always tell, . . . An’ if you ask the worn guy in the men’s room, yer liable to get slapped down good . . . You gotta learn right off ’bout those Red-Necks: . . . we don’t call those republican states ‘Red-States fer no reason . . . jus’ like Blue States . . . There’s reasons fer all this here stuff;

> > > Besides, if ya’ can’t already tell, ya’ got no bid’ness askin’ any how, . . . Ya’ really need to be askin’ yer--self: ‘Now hows-come I didn’ see that comin’ a mile away? That’s the first part.

> > > Now the second part, ya’ don’t need to be telling’ no one yer Gay! . . .Ya’ think somebody don’t know? How could they not know? An iffin’ they don’t know, it won’t do ya’ no good anyhow . . . Jus’ getcha slapped down by some Red-Neck.

> > > So don’t pay no mind to ‘dis here new legislation of Bill’s - “Don’t Ask - Don’t tell”: It don’t mean nothin’ no how - it’s jus’ for Newt and the Republican Congress - make-em feel better.



Barney explaining to new pages who want to be Senator some day, on how to learn from their heroes.

> > > "If you can't imitate ’em -- just pretend to be like ’em . . . But don't be no copycat -- just act like ‘em the best you can till you can do better"



Barney explains the difficulty of passing “Bi-Partisan Legislation” with “Bi-Sexual Democrats and “Straight Republicans!”

> > > “I’ll tell ya’ right up front: It ain’t too easy . . . but after awhile, it ain’t too hard . . . if ya’ don’t work at none . . . once you learn that half-this political racket is ‘bout 90% mental.”



Barney lectures a joint-session of Congress on why people shouldn’t be stereotyped!

> > > “Now take me be called “Homo” for your example here: ever-where I go, lotta folks be callin’ me homo real loud in public - - but I ain't no homo. . . . I mean . . . GEEZ! . . . I mean - jus’ ‘cause I’m mostly Gay don’t mean I’m completely homo!”

> > > Gotta remember ‘bout this stereotypin’ thing here. . . Jus’ cause it’s “true” that don’t mean it’s right! . . .That don’t mean it’s nice either: . .(pause) didn’t yer momma’s ever teach you nuthin‘?



Barney’s Opening Statement on “Barney Franker Gay Appreciation Day at the Boston Annual Gay Pride Parade - now held twice a year - for all he had done for the Gay Rights Movement.

> > > "I wanna thank youse-all for “Comin’ Out Big’ and makin’ My Appreciation Day absolutely necessary."



Barney explains to elderly friends what it’s like trying to seduce a new group of young Congressional Pages every two years.

> > > “It ain’t easy jus’ cause ye’r Gay . . . bein’ Gay is like deja vu all over again!“



Barney on being asked about waking up drowsy after some marijuana at late-night gay bath party!

> > > “Well . . . If I didn't wake up, I guess I'd still be sleeping - I just don’t know who with!”



Barney Franker explains to young male pages on their “first midnight tour of the Capitol.”

> > > "You ‘ll get to see a lot just by lookin’. Ya’ get a ‘feel for things just by kinda feelin‘ yer way around . . . Ya know what I mean . . .Ya guys feelin’ anything yet?



Barney Franker, referring to a movie coming on TV, made by the first famous homosexual who died with AIDS - Rock Hudson

> > > "He must have made that ‘fore he died with AIDS."



Barney Franker -- When asked what he was gonna do with a ’Golden Phallus Statuette” he found in his Capitol Hill apartment after at an all-night party

> > > "Well, I'd sure like to find the guy who lost it . . I bet he’s some kinda dude - if you know what I mean . . . and if he was poor, I'd probably give it back to it him - for free!”